Assistant (to the) editor

By Melissa Tucker

A night with the tenors

Posted January 17, 2008

I guess I just thought I was cultured.

But those Ten Tenors proved me wrong.

We had free tickets via my husband's workplace. It was nice of them to give us tickets, and for the most part, we enjoyed the show.

It started out pretty overdramatic. Ten guys in suits walk out on the stage and sing a tribute to heroes. They all stood in a line and slowly lowered their microphones in unison when they weren't singing -- THAT kind of overdramatic. And that was one of the few numbers in English. (Not that I have anything against Italian, German and and opera... in fact, I love it.)

The next song was easily one of my favorite parts of the show: "Largo al Factotum" from the Barber of Seville (you might know it as the song where they say 'Figaro, Figaro, Fiiiiiiigaaaaaroooooo' about a bajillion times.) That was wonderfully well done with each of the tenors taking a part and one of them pantomiming his part being stolen by the guy on the other end.

But then they did a medley they called, "Opera Without the Boring Bits" which was a bit misleading because to me it was opera with only the boring bits.

As Inigo Montoya would say, "let-a me explain. No it is too much, let me sum up."

They took out the plot, crazy costumes, scenery, character development and all of the other fantastic reasons to see an opera, and just sang parts of the songs. So..... to me... just the boring bits.

But I woke up again when they rounded off the first act with a tribute to The Bee Gees, which I would call highly entertaining. They sang "How Deep is Your Love" and then segued into "Stayin' Alive." The second number complete with disco dancing, which was a bit awkward because they were all holding microphones at the time and kept having to switch hands to do the "disco point." Parts of it were made even more entertaining for me because during the solos all I could think about was the Barry Gibb Talk Show on Saturday Night Live.

Act 2: Same song, second verse. A little bit louder and a little bit worse.

The second act was more opera. I think think they sang the song "Granada" or maybe not. I missed most of it because I was laughing too hard at my husband.

A little background: Before the show, we were looking at the program and he asked me, "which one is your favorite?" and I said, "The one that looks like Jude Law." When the first song of the second act began, I whispered the same question in his ear. But the song had a lot of loud and soft parts, and right in the middle of an unexpected pause he answered my question with "The fat one" in a really loud voice. And I laughed for the rest of the song.



There was more "boring bit-free" opera ... I started to get sleepy.

But then they announced they'd be singing a tribute to Queen. Yay!

But then they sang, "Who Wants to Live Forever" when I was expecting a rousing version of "We Will Rock You" or something. But I enjoyed the song, nonetheless, and next up was "Bohemian Rhapsody."

They killed it ... in a good way. Right until the headbanging part, and then they killed it in a bad way.

Totally. Lame. Ten guys in a row, instead of looking like cool headbangers, looked like they were bent-over trying to take a knit beanie off without touching it. Just trust me. Awful.

And then, without really having a reason, I kept expecting the song to end with the customary gong.

But it didn't. They all just said, "ahhhhh" in unison.

So, I'd give it a 6 out of 10.

But, they did end on a high note with that song from Gladiator, "Now We Are Free."

And that was pretty awesome.

I guess my advice to those tenors would be get some wigs for the headbanging proper during "Bohemian Rhapsody" --- don't be afraid to break your necks or get a little dizzy boys, that's what performing's all about. And next time you sing some opera, at least have the decency to put one of the boys in a yellow wig with braids, a hat with horns and a big metal corset. And I'll come running back.

(See, I told you I was cultured.)