Shea's Blog

By Shea Stewart

Another sex scandal

Posted July 5, 2007

What do celebrities do when they border on becoming insignificant? Why create a sex scandal of course!

Welcome “no talent ass clown” Nick Lachey and uber-hotty Vanessa Minnillo as the latest members of the club. It seems as though steamy photos of the pair having sex in a hot tub in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, (and the threat of the photos being released to the general public) have begrudgingly thrust the couple into the news after their limelight started to fade.

You might remember Lachey as a member of the second-tier boy band 98 Degrees, and co-star of the hit MTV show Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica (where he was teamed with his vapid — yet stunningly hot — wife Jessica Simpson). Of course, Simpson dumped Lachey because he was too brilliant for her, and Nick has since drifted aimlessly in B-level celebritdom, releasing a solo album (which 500,000 people were duped into purchasing) and appearing on ESPN’s College Gameday (making me actually feel sympathy for Lee Corso).

What is Vanessa Minnillo’s claim to fame? Being stunningly hot! (Apparently Lachey only dates stunningly hot women.) Yes, her amazing good looks have earned her the title of Miss Teen USA of 1998 and a ranking of No. 34 on the Maxim magazine Hot 100 of 2007 list (slipping from a rank of No. 15 in 2006).

But apparently she is an amazing talent on the screen as well, appearing as “Hot Girl” in an episode of the NBC Saturday morning sitcom City Guys and as “Sexy Student” in an episode of Maybe It’s Me, the short-lived WB series.

She also hosted MTV’s Total Request Live and held a knife to Lindsay Lohan’s throat, apparently driving Lohan to drugs and alcohol. (Too bad Minni couldn’t follow through.)

All the hard work as an actress and a stunningly hot, crazy, knife welding media whore recently lead to Minni landing a star role as “Johnny’s Wedding Date” in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. With her career on the upswing, why would she stoop to appearing in sex photos with a “no-talent ass clown” such as Lachey? Oh, the stupid things we do for love. Plus she was recently fired from MTV and E!.

Lachey, for his part, was quoted by OK! magazine (The exclamation point means it is seriously important celebrity news only.) as being stunned by the attention.

“It's not like I was caught with a Mexican hooker,” he said. “We've all gone out and had a few too many and done something stupid.”

In fairness to Lachey, if he had been caught with a Mexican hooker and a mountain of blow, his career would really take off again, propelling him to A-Level celebritdom again. Just look at what sex and drugs have done for the “careers” of Britney Spears and Lohan. So Lachey, here’s to you discovering that Mexican hooker who will give you your celebritdom back. You can do it!