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To regift or not to regift?

We ask etiquette experts and real people the inevitable question.

By Elizabeth Sharp

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Christmas might be over, but that doesn’t mean the holiday parties have ended. And you are bound to run into people you forgot to give presents to.

As you peer at the arsenal of forgettable gifts you received this year, it’s awfully tempting to throw one in a bag and go. After all, one person can use only so many candles, lotions and boxes of chocolate in one lifetime.

So the question is: Should you regift?

Lizzie Post, 25, etiquette author and great-great-granddaughter of the founder of The Emily Post Institute in Burlington, Vt., said that the general rule of thumb for regifting is pretty simple: Just don’t do it.

“Don’t worry about if it’s something tacky or if you’re going ‘ick’ when you see it,” she said. “Someone took the time to go to a store or search online and find something special for you. That’s the real meaning behind the gift.”

But, according to a recent Money Management International poll, the act of regifting is growing. Sixty-two percent of people said they have regifted because they thought the item was something the recipient would like. Forty-two percent said they have regifted to save money.

Jennifer Nguyen, 23, of Sherwood said she regularly regifts items such as bath sets in scents that she doesn’t like.

“If I’m not going to use it, why let it go to waste?” Nguyen said.

And Anh Vuong, 24, of Little Rock, said she regifts things like candles or lotions for group activities, like Secret Santa, where it’s not as important to personalize.

“You can’t really go wrong with it,” Vuong said.

Post said that no matter how despicable the idea of passing on a second-hand Yankee candle might sound to her, she realizes that regifting is inevitable. So she offered some suggestions for how to do it in a mannerly way.

Post said there are some situations where regifting is acceptable: For instance, when you receive two of the same thing, or someone makes you a plate of chocolate chip nut cookies, and you’re allergic to nuts.

“Let the person know, and be honest,” Post said.

But if you’re going to regift an item you just plain don’t like, Post said that the person who originally gave you the gift, as well as the person you’re giving it to, can never know what you did. To ensure this, only regift items that have never been used and are in their original packaging. And double-check that you’re not leaving the original gift tag or card attached.

But certain items are always off limits for regifting.

“You don’t want to give anything that is unique, one-of-a-kind, or handmade,” Post said. “If it’s not in your house or if they see it in a friend’s house, their feelings are going to be hurt.”

Finally, consider the personalities of the people involved. “Some friends are very casual, and they don’t mind the idea of regifting,” Post said. “If you know that the person is okay with it, you know that it’s something you can do.”