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Fifteen minutes of shame

It matters to me

By Brandon Scott (Contact)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Since the reality show Survivor's debut in 2000, our television sets have been inundated with these programs that offer fifteen minutes of fame to average Americans.

With American Idol consistently reigning king of the Nielsen ratings, and other shows like Dancing with the Stars and So You Think You Can Dance making the top ten, it's safe to say reality TV is going to be around a bit longer than some of you hoped.

I'm what my friends call a “reality TV junkie.” My DVR is usually full of titles like The Amazing Race, Big Brother or Last Comic Standing. Over the past eight years, I was there for Boston Rob's proposal to Amber on Survivor, I was on the edge of my seat when Dr. Will returned to the Big Brother house and I could never forget Charla the midget from The Amazing Race.

While I love reality TV and have even auditioned for a few of the shows, the networks have taken it too far this summer as there are more than 20 reality/contest-based programs slated to air on the four big networks: NBC, CBS, ABC and Fox.

CBS and Fox, two networks that have found great success with reality programming, is holding back this summer with just four and three shows, respectively.

CBS will air the 10th season of summer juggernaut Big Brother. Regis Philbin has returned to the game show circuit with Million Dollar Password and mix in a show about jungles and a search for America's Greatest Dog and you've got CBS' summer of 2008.

Fox will let the final six chefs battle it out on Hell's Kitchen while the dancers of So You Think You Can Dance are just kicking off their competition. Oh yeah, and that awful show that breaks up marriages and tears apart families is back. Thanks, Fox. You might as well bring back Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire?

NBC takes it up a notch with their “All-American Summer” featuring seven shows. The Peacock network is taking over Nashville Star after the singing competition found little support on the USA network. The newcomers to NBC are Celebrity Circus, which looks like it will be slapstick at best, and The Baby Borrowers, a social experiment that gives real children to teenage couples. What idiot hands over their kids to a network and teenagers? We'll find out at the end of the month.

But ABC takes the cake when it comes to reality this summer. With two returning shows and five new ones, I think fans of the network are going to turn off their sets and wait for Lost and Grey’s Anatomy to come back on. I Survived a Japanese Game Show has to be the what-were-you-smoking-when-you-came-up-with-that moment of the year.

I'm sure millions will tune in when it airs later this month, but why? On ABC's Web site it gives a synopsis of one these games: “Chicken Butt Scramble: The contestants create their own version of Japanese scrambled eggs as they attempt to smash goo-filled over-sized eggs with only their butts, while wearing chicken suits.”

Why, ABC? Why? That's not funny. It's just plain dumb.

With the creation of these senseless and ridiculous shows, it makes me wonder what happened to creativity in Hollywood. Whether it's the film industry or the television industry, it seems like it's either a sequel or a remake or something that is fueled by absurdity.

With remakes of The Incredible Hulk, Batman, Hellraiser, Friday the 13th and even The Birds on the way or in production, it seems like some in Hollywood have hit a creative block.

Over in TV land, you've got Big Brother 10, Survivor 16, Amazing Race 12, American Idol 7, and let's not forget Real World 20.

I know that everything revolves around money and as long as these cheaply produced shows have an audience; they will keep the voyeur cameras rolling. Why can't there be a balance of quality and originality mixed with so-called reality?

CBS' Swingtown and NBC's Fear Itself may be the only saving graces for this summer.

I'm not bashing all of the writers and producers in Hollywood, just most of them. Thank God for the Diablo Cody’s and the Charlie Kaufman’s of the world. At least there are a few left with the imagination and brilliance to take us somewhere other than where we've already been.